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Here at the Sector Seven Experimental Weapons Division, we're always working on new and exciting ways to kill you. Customer feedback is a vital part of this process.

If you've been killed by one of our products, we'd love to hear from you.

(Anon on, IP Tracking on, Comment Screening on)



Hello. You have reached the automated voicemail service for Primary Contact Field Device Anti-Sankishin Core Unit No. 11 La- This person is not available at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone.


011 Λ Homework

[Accidental Video]

[The video clicks on in the sterile laboratory room that Lambda calls home. She's sitting at a desk in the uniform of Queen Serenity's academy, a stack of books next to her, concentrating hard on the bit of paper she's writing on. Her handwriting is very clinical and neat, but her pen is moving incredibly slowly as she carefully draws each letter.

Finally, after a few more minutes, she sets the pen down.]

Assignment review. Beginning check.

"A ballistic missile is a missile that follows a sub-orbital ballistic flightpath with the objective of delivering one or more warheads to a predetermined location.

Ballistic missiles can be launched from mobile launchers- including vehicles, aircraft, ships, submarines- or from a fixed station.

A ballistic missile is a tube almost completely filled with either liquid or solid fuel, and is approximately thirty to over one hundred feet tall.

Short-range ballistic missiles may reach speeds of up to twenty or more times the speed of sound when travelling through an area of little air resistance, or no resistance at all."

Rhyming scheme confirmed. Poem complete.

010 Λ Who's That Murakumon?


[Lambda has been out-cold for over two weeks, ever since catching a nasty flu bug. Fortunately, she was found by her younger sister/clone Noel, and taken back to Noel's room to recuperate. After Lambda's fever had finally died down, her days had been spent lying on Noel's bed in a state of deep sleep, slowly recovering her strength. That was, until today: one quiet afternoon, her eyes suddenly snap open and she sits bolt upright on the bed.]

Reboot. Starting up. Loading... loading... loading... complete.

[She swings her legs around to sit on the side of the bed, and looks around. Left, then right. Then left. And right again. And left.]
Location unknown. Memory corruption detected. Starting disc repair.

[She stands up, letting the sheets fall to the ground and exposing the simple white nightgown that she had been sleeping in.]
Beginning reconnaissance.

[She wanders forward and opens the first door that she can see, revealing rows of clothing all neatly hung up.]
Analysing. Function: storage for protective equipment.


[She reaches out and takes the first outfit she finds.]



[The video starts in Noel's room, with a really familiar face staring into the camera.]

Dreamberry functionality... confirmed.

Requesting information on current date and time.

008 Λ Video

Water damage to main laboratory... critical. Primary functions... offline.

Self-repair system engaged. Estimated time to completion... one month.

Processing course of action... processing... processing... complete.

New objective: locate temporary base of operations.

... again.

007 Λ Accidental Video

[The video feed opens with a view of a large room, with the flat angle suggesting that the Dreamberry is perched on a shelf or table. The room looks to have been abandoned for some time, and whoever the last tenant was seems to have left quite a mess. There are shards of glass and pieces of broken equipment scattered everywhere, with a thin layer of dust coating everything. In the background there is a smashed stasis tube with enough room to fit an ogre, and what look like mainframe banks of sorts.]

[After a minute the door slides open, and Lambda hovers in holding an empty trash bag and broom. She begins to sweep up the mess, starting on the far side and cleaning in nice, efficient rows. When the trash bag is full, she takes it out and returns a minute later with a fresh one.]

[This continues for about half an hour, until Lambda suddenly stops in the midst of some dusting. She stands stock-still, and after a few seconds begins to quiver. Her little body tries its best to control the shuddering for half a minute or so, until finally-]

Ah-ah... too!

[Blink blink blink.]

[After a moment she recomposes herself and resumes cleaning. It takes another half hour until she has finally cleaned away all the debris and wiped down all the surfaces. The facility is far from functional, but at least you could start getting it back up and running now.]

[Lambda puts aside her cleaning supplies and looks up at the broken stasis tube, her back to the camera. Just her, standing there in the spotless room, staring at the tube in silence.

Her shoulders slump.

Then she turns and goes to retrieve her Dreamberry from where she left it.]

007 Λ Video

[Lambda is talking to a mirror again, having hooked her visor up to the VIDEO IN socket on her Dreamberry.]

Requesting information.

Subject: educational facilities in Somarium.

Associated parameters: class, teacher, curriculum, homework.


Amend input. New parameters: class, teacher, curriculum.

Please advise.

006 Λ Video

[The video opens with Lambda looking at a reflection of herself in a mirror. It may take a couple of moments to realise that she's hooked her Dreamberry up to her visor to film this video, so what you're seeing is her point of view.]

Initialising greeting protocol. Hello, "Somarium". How are you today.


Main message. Temporary accommodation no longer sufficient. Requesting upgrade to permanent accommodation. Information is required to-

... incoming connection detected. Searching for content... memory data found.

[Her gaze turns towards a nearby table, and the object resting upon it: a glinting grey memory card for her Dreamberry with the number eleven on the front in a plain, sterile font. She walks over and picks it up.]

Downloading memory data...  invalid timestamp... irregular emotional spikes detected... compensating... compensating...

[As she talks, the hand with the card in it slowly moves towards the memory card slot on her Dreamberry, as if possessed.]

Read more...Collapse )

004 Λ Dream

Warnings: Imagedumping and Fourth-Wall-tapping ahoy.
Dream Effects: None.

Read more...Collapse )

Loading... loading... loading... complete.

[Lambda sits up and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. There's a mirror on the far side of the room: a confused, half-asleep girl with a simple white nightgown and wildly-unkempt morning hair blinks back at her.]


002 Λ Dream

Warnings: None.
Dream Effects: None.

(OOC: By the way, you can blame this guy for this.)

Read more...Collapse )

Loading... loading... loading... complete.

That was... a dream?

[Lambda sits up and blinks in confusion. She's never had a dream before. At least, not that she can remember. Were her shutdown procedures incomplete? Did she click on "Sleep" instead of "Shut Down"? She makes a note in her database to double-check her shutdown processes next time, and ponders whether to erase the "trash data" that has accumulated in her memory banks from the dream. Kokonoe would certainly erase it without hesitation...]